WEAK EYES (EPISODE THREE): MARRIED, YET ALONE

She saw Rachael bow in the wheat fields with her arms spread out like Jacob and she knew that Rachael had finally come to believe in Yahweh. She silently prayed that God would hear the heart cry of her sister; even if it was just this once. She turned away before she could be noticed.

WEAK EYES

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She watched as he prayed to his unseen god. There was something about the sight of it that made Leah want to believe in this God. The first rule Jacob had given to his household was that they forsake all their idols. He believed there was only one true God. YHWH.

The God of his fathers; Abraham and Isaac. A name he called with so much reference. Jacob claimed that this God had called his grandfather out of his kindred, and had allowed him birth his own father Isaac at a very old age. The stories fascinated Rachael but Leah was filled with deeper awe.

What was this God like? Why couldn’t he be touched? Why did he not have a temple? Was he really superior to their gods? The more she thought about it, the more enamoured she became.

Jacob tried to be impartial; but his love for Rachael was a mountain compared to what he showed Leah. To Leah, he performed his marital duties, more out of obligations than love. For her sister, it was pure pleasure.

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“You are pregnant.” Zilpah said quietly as she washed her body just as the sun was beginning to rise.

Shocked, she looked up at her to be sure she had heard correctly. “Yes Leah, you are gone 21 days. I counted the days of your monthly cycle to be sure. Your tenderness to my touch confirms that it is true.” Leah’s heart exploded with joy. Now, my husband will love me! The unloved will become the treasured one.

Jacob did not notice her protruding belly until he came into her chambers four months later. She was half-clad and gently rubbed in herbal spices onto her skin.

“Are you pregnant?”

Leah nodded and smiled as she saw his face glow with happiness. “Thanks be to Yahweh!” Embracing her lovingly, he wept with joy. Leah had never seen him display such emotions with her. She was grateful that she was favored with child and hoped that it would be a son.

The shrill cry from her firstborn son brought so much joy to Leah. He had his father’s brown eyes and handsomeness. She named him Reuben. “The Lord has seen my trouble and has given me a son! Praise be to Yahweh!” Jacob danced around with Reuben, his eyes radiant with unusual happiness. Leah was overwhelmed. Jacob started to spend more time with her.

Reuben was barely two years old when she had Simeon. Thereafter, she had Levi. And Judah came along soon enough. Although Jacob had not noticed, Rachael had begun to feel withdrawn. She was jealous of her sister.

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“I hardly see enough of you these days.” He had come into her chambers that night and she had been unreceptive to him. Oblivious of the warring emotions at her heart, he had excused her actions.

Jacob laughed innocently. “I have a larger family now. I have to take care of my flock so that I do not run out of business. It gets competitive these days.”

“You are always with your other wife and children.” Jacob frowned. Rubbing his eyes, he shifted on his side to peer into her eyes. He had not noticed before, but he understood what was happening in that instant.

“Rachael, I love you. I always have. Need I remind you how hard I worked to get your hand in marriage?”

“No, Jacob! You do not love me anymore! You hate me! Give me children or I will kill myself!”

Jacob was furious. He had always known her to be childish but he had not expected this height of immaturity. He got up angrily to go but she stopped him. Lurching forward, she held unto his robe tightly sobbing profusely.

“My sister has succeeded in stealing your heart! She cheated me of my privilege of being your first wife; and now she has stolen your love too by giving you children. Shall I die miserable? What do I have left?”

Jacob softened as she moaned helplessly. What could he do? “Rachael listen, I am not God. it is God who gives children…”

“Then sleep with my maid, Bilhah! I will have children through her.” Jacob was torn at heart. “How dare you suggest such a thing? I do not even love her. Besides, how could I condescend to such a low degree? Sleeping with my wife’s maid?”

“It is legally possible according to our tradition. Besides, did you not once tell the story of how your grandfather slept with his wife’s maid to bear a son for him?”. Jacob weakened.

“That was different. Ishmael was… Ishmael was not the son of promise but God accepted him in honor of Abraham. He was not a part of the intentional plan.”

“How would you know it is not his will for me to do same? He has refused to give me children perhaps to shame me. Let my maid bear a child for me, please, Jacob…”

For days, she sulked and wearied him with her requests until she succeeded in convincing him.

Exactly ten months after Jacob went into Bilhah’s tent, she gave birth to a son whom Rachael named Dan. “God has judged in my favour!” She sang and sang joyously while Bilhah watched meekly. She knew better than to request for the child. Rachael would sit beside her for days while she nursed him. Other than that, she was always with the child.

Soon enough, Bilhah had another child whom Rachael named Naphtali. “I have fought a hard fight with my sister but I have won! My husband will love me again.”

Zilpah watched Bilhah deceptively avoid her obligations and a thought budded in her head. She would not let this slip her by.

“Did you hear what Rachael say after the birth of Naphtali?”

“No, I did not. Of what concern is that to me?”

“When last did Jacob come into your tent?”

Leah shrugged. “My sister has gotten a means out of her misery. Why should he not be there for her?”

“Your sister seems to be determined to win Jacob’s love totally from you. Who knows? She might ask Jacob to sleep with Adah to get more children for him”. Leah’s face twitched with a mix of emotions.

“Bear more sons for your husband Leah. Keep him closer to your tent.”

“But you know I have not succeeded at that in a long while. I keep seeing my monthly cycle and then Jacob has to stay away again.”

‘Leah, you are wise. You know what to do. You can always count on me if you need my help.” Zilpah walked away confidently. She knew Leah would do what she wanted.

“Marry my maid, Zilpah.”

“Not you too Leah! You have already given me four sons! What else do you want?”

“I want more children Jacob. And I want your love.”

“But I love you.”

“When last did you come into my chambers?”

Seven days later, Jacob went into Zilpah’s tent.

Happiness flooded her heart as her belly formed a like a calabash. Many of the male servants had tried to woo her unsuccessfully and now her heart beat with so much pride. She had the Master of the house. Expectantly, she hoped it be a son. Jacob would then gaze upon her with the same love he had bestowed on the others. Bilhah had maintained a respectful distance. She could no longer treat her with contempt. They were now equals.

Asher followed quickly after Gad and a family of three expanded beyond a dozen.

Meanwhile the hostility between the two sisters grew. Quietly. They never argued but deep down in their heart, there was a long-lost love. Leah remembered moments when they would tease each other; weave each other’s hair and flirt with their father’s menservants even though it was Rachael who caught their eye most of the time.

Leah sometimes wondered why her own sister had suddenly become a stranger to her. She longed to comfort her sister for her barrenness but knew that her sympathy could be misunderstood. There were times she ached for her sister. Whenever the other children played together, there was a forlorn look in her eyes that reminded Leah of how bereft they had been when they lost their mother.

Leah remembered the night Reuben had found mandrakes. She had lashed out at her sister accusingly. She had had the effrontery to apprehend her of stealing her husband. Leah laughed bitterly as she used her shawl to wipe off the tears escaping from her eyes.

Wasn’t she the husband-thief? Had she not secretly prayed for Jacob to notice her? Her heart had sunk with shame at the hurt in her sister’s eyes as she agreed to give her turn with Jacob to her. She knew she had been wrong but pride had caused her to stubbornly take advantage. Yes, she wanted revenge. She wanted Rachael to feel pain; just like she had for several years.

Gossips already flew around that peradventure Rachael was cursed. She had done nothing to defend her sister from the whispers. How had she fanned to flame the hate that now consumed her soul like a ball of fire? Even now, she was pregnant again.

She saw Rachael bow in the wheat fields with her arms spread out like Jacob and she knew that Rachael had finally come to believe in Yahweh. She silently prayed that God would hear the heart cry of her sister; even if it was just this once. She turned away before she could be noticed.

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Many people today see marriages as an escape route from singleness. Children are not even enough a reason to keep a man these days. What are your thoughts?